Au Pair: More Than Just a Childcare Solution?

Finding someone to care for your child isn't simply about choosing a nursery, a childminder or a babysitter. Among the childcare options available, there is one that is above all a human adventure: welcoming an au pair into your family.

The idea? A young person from another country is welcomed into a family to share their everyday life while helping to care for the children. Far more than just a childcare solution, this experience is built on trust, cultural exchange and the bonds that develop over the months.

To better understand what this adventure is all about, we met Marthe, 28, who has been living in New York with an American family for the past year and a half. In this interview, she tells us about her daily life, what this experience has brought her... and why she recommends it to both families and future au pairs. 🌎

Could you introduce yourself and tell us about your daily life in New York?

Marthe: "My name is Marthe, I'm 28 years old, and I've been an au pair in New York for the past year and a half."

"When I arrived, the little boy I look after was only three months old. Today, he's almost two. I spend my days with him: I take him to his activities, manage his naps, prepare his meals and take him on outings... I'm really there for every stage of his development."

"What I particularly love about this role is that I'm fully part of the family. I live with them, at the heart of their everyday life, while still having my own personal space."

What made you want to become an au pair?

Marthe: "I've had two experiences as an au pair. The first came when I was 20, after a year of university that I didn't successfully complete. I didn't want to stay home doing nothing, so I went to Boston to improve my English and discover a new culture."

"A few years later, I realised that if I wanted to experience this adventure again, it was my last chance because I was getting close to the age limit. This time, I wanted complete immersion in an English-speaking family so that I could come back truly bilingual."

How did you choose your host family?

Marthe: "I'd already had a first experience looking after a baby, so I knew I wanted to work with that age group again. Through the agency I went with, I was able to speak with several families via an app before making my choice—almost as if I were on Tinder! Beyond the child's age, what mattered most was the feeling I had."

"Personally, I also find it very reassuring when agencies, like the one I used to come to the United States, meet the families before departure. It allows you to leave with much greater peace of mind."

Could you imagine welcoming an au pair into your own home one day?

Marthe: "Yes, without hesitation. That said, I think it's important to be able to offer the person you're welcoming a real personal space. For me, having their own bedroom, ideally with a separate bathroom or a private entrance, allows everyone to preserve their privacy and independence."

"In return, I think an au pair brings so much to everyday life. It's someone you build a real relationship of trust with, who knows the house, understands the children's routines, and almost becomes a third parent within the family."

What advice would you give to families looking for an au pair?

Marthe: "I'd tell them to be honest from the very beginning. There's no point trying to please people or promising things that won't reflect how things will actually work once the au pair arrives. It's better to explain your expectations clearly, even if you seem a little strict, than to create false expectations."

"I'd also recommend creating regular moments to talk together. For example, having a family meal once a week creates an opportunity to discuss what's going well... and what isn't."

What would you say to families who are still hesitating?

Marthe: "I'd tell them not to be afraid to give it a try! And if it doesn't work out, you can always choose another childcare solution. But if you want your child to build a real relationship with the person caring for them, having an au pair is a wonderful option. It's genuine day-to-day support, a real relief that helps lighten parents' mental load so they can focus on sharing meaningful moments with their children."

And what would you say to young people who are hesitating about becoming an au pair?

Marthe: "I'd simply say: go for it!"

"You discover a country, a culture and a language, but above all, you discover extraordinary people. You find yourself living in places you might never have imagined living one day, and you grow so much as a person."

"If I hadn't been an au pair, would I ever have had a bedroom overlooking Brooklyn? In short, it's an experience that opens so many doors!"

Looking back, what memory will you keep from this experience?

Marthe: "That it's a truly beautiful human adventure."

"I'm still in touch with the families I met. Sometimes I even catch myself thinking that I'd love to invite them to my wedding one day, imagining a table reserved just for my English-speaking families."

What about you?

Whether you're a parent looking for a different childcare solution or someone considering becoming an au pair abroad, Marthe's story reminds us of one essential thing: beyond the practical organisation, the schedules and the responsibilities, it's above all about the people you meet and the relationships you build.

Ultimately, choosing an au pair often means opening your home to much more than just a childcare solution. It's about welcoming someone into your family, with everything that comes with it: discoveries, adjustments and, above all, wonderful surprises. 💛

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@tajinebanane